Mirror on the Wall....Action step #2!

Action Step #2................FLIP IT!!!
Flip it: these two words can become your favorite new mantra.
Whenever I catch myself having one of those mean thoughts that I believe is really true, I remind myself that I can "flip it," meaning I can choose to change how I'm feeling about myself in that moment. No joke, it's within your power to turn this around. You can re-program your mind, just like you started to do in action step #1, so that when you look in the mirror, you actually start to love what you see instead of automatically tearing yourself down. You're probably wondering how to do this, right? Hang in there with me, I'll explain.



Negative thoughts have a lot of power. Think back to a recent bad day you had. How many times that day would you say you told yourself something mean? I'm guessing a lot. If you keep telling yourself you look like crap, then that becomes your belief, and whether you realize it or not, your brain is then programmed to seek out other "flaws." It becomes a habit.

The way you break this habit is by creating a command that will stop the flow of those negative thoughts. It can be anything like, "Stop it" or "Knock it off" or "No way-this is not happening anymore!" Or whatever creation of words works for you. If you had an awful houseguest, would you allow them to keep yelling nasty comments at you? I don't think so! Just like you would need to take care of yourself by showing them the front door, you need to do the same within yourself. So when a mean thought comes up, you can "flip it" by commanding it to stop in its tracks. Behaviorists say that if you want to break a habit, it takes 28 days......so let's consider today day one of your new programming. 27 more to go! -ha!


Telling the negative thoughts to go away isn't enough, though; you also need to replace them with some positive ones. Just like the negative thoughts are contagious, the good news is so are the positive ones. So I want you to try something, okay? The next time you stand in front of a mirror, instead of automatically zeroing in on what you hate, ask yourself, What do I like about what I see? C'mon, don't tell me you can't find one thing you like. Appreciating even one feature can start your mental list of positive thoughts flowing., which you can then use to replace the negative ones. By reprogramming yourself to seek out the positive, you create a much better habit.



This might feel a little weird at first, but I swear it works. This is the secret to rewiring your inner beliefs and building confidence. Don't worry if some days you fall back into your old patterns. You can start fresh any day, any time-it's an ongoing practice.
See why flip it can become your favorite new mantra?  :)

"Mirror, mirror on the wall..."

Remember that line from Snow White? Wouldn't it be nice if our mirror responded to our reflection with wonderful, kind, loving words of encouragement? "You look so beautiful today...Wow, you're makeup looks great...Love you're hair!" I admit it would be a little creepy at first, but we'd all have the BEST self-esteem on the planet!

Okay, but here we are back in the world of reality, where we've admitted that we don't have that feeling of love when you see our reflection in the mirror. What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror? If you're one of the rare few who automatically respond with only positive thoughts, wow-that's inspiring. Can I please trade brains with you?! Because most of us immediately zero in on whatever bugs us the most and nail ourselves. WE ARE TOO TOUGH ON OURSELVES! I am talking about both male and female here just to clarify.

Those nasty voices in our heads aren't just our own creation, though; we've got plenty of pressures coming at us to stir them up. We're so used to seeing all these digitally perfected images staring back at us from magazines and billboards that we start to think that's what's "normal." I'm sorry, but how can we not feel insecure next to that? And don't think that every commercial or ad you see isn't somehow creeping into your beliefs and making you feel like you're not enough without their product.



Some of us have been teased or rejected for being too tall, too fat, too thin, too anything....It's crazy how even one mean comment from someone can stick with us and become what we believe about ourselves. Those voices in our heads saying we're "not enough" don't fade easily, do they?

So how did I start to quiet the nasty voices in my head? How do we fight back against these hurtful judgments, whether from someone else or from our own imaginations? I'm here to tell you there is a way.

Action Steps:

Ditch the Mirror Drama

"Mirror Drama" isn't just about how we feel when we look in the mirror....it's how we feel in our skin every minute of every day. We might not be able to silence those nasty inner voices permanently, but the action steps here will definitely help you turn down their volume each time they threaten to ruin your day....your week....your life....

Action Step #1

Catch Yourself

It's time to stop letting the nasty sources of negative messages have power over us, once and for all! There's a way to actually stop these voices in their tracks as soon as they start messing with you, and it's easier than you might think. It's called awareness.

Here's how it works: let's say that same old voice kicks in-the one that screams "I'm ugly", "I'm fat" or "I'm not good enough" or whatever your inner critic loves to say to shred your self-esteem. When that happens, most of us immediately buy into what it's saying and without even realizing it, let that negativity take us down. But right there, in that moment, we have a choice. We can pause, look within, and ask ourselves: Whose voice is this? Is it mine? Do I really believe this? To become aware of the voice rather than just letting it immediately become what you believe about yourself is so empowering, because it puts the control back into your hands.

Even though this might sound extreme, letting other people's critical voices take over is like brainwashing, and we need to rewire how we think. This step of catching the inner critic is about separating yourself from other people's negativity and getting back to what you think.

Ditching the mirror drama isn't about waiting for someone or something else to make you feel better about yourself; YOU are the only one who has the power to stop it. There is no beauty or satisfaction in looking for your self-worth  in everyone else's opinions. The real beauty comes from looking at yourself through your own eyes. Then, from deep within your soul, you will start to see the true beauty in the mirror.

I know that some of you might be saying, "Yeah, okay-but it's actually me who thinks I'm too fat, or too short, or whatever." Don't worry, I have ways to deal with that voice, too. Read on....I will be posting the next 4 steps in future blog posts....for now, you can work on Step #1 :)